www.HopeandHelpCenter.org
Weekly Meditation
by Christine White
Mark 5:24-34
And a large crowd followed Jesus and pressed in on him. Now there was a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years. She had endured much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had; and she was no better, but rather grew worse. She had heard about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, for she said, "If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well." Immediately her hemorrhage stopped; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. Immediately aware that power had gone forth from him, Jesus turned about in the crowd and said, "Who touched my clothes?" And his disciples said to him, "You see the crowd pressing in on you; how can you say, 'Who touched me?'" He looked all around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling, fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease."
In Jesus' day a woman was considered impure during her monthly menstrual
cycle. Not only was she considered impure, but anyone who came into contact
with her ran the risk of "ritual impurity." Ritual impurity, according to
Jewish law, isolated them from social and religious events. This woman had
endured social isolation for 12 years. She had spent all of her money
searching for a cure. But, nothing had helped. She was desperate!
In her book Adventures in Prayer, Catherine Marshall devotes one chapter
to "The Prayer of Helplessness." Offering several examples of people who
prayed out of a deep feeling of helplessness, she suggests why those prayers
may bring results which praying the same words without that same deep
feeling of helplessness may not. Obviously, the deepest experience of
prayer's impact on us is not about the words, but rather about coming to God
with total honesty and recognition of what we cannot do on our own. Jesus
acknowledges that without God, even he could do nothing (John 5:30).
Why is that true? Why do we need to acknowledge our own helplessness for
prayer to bring results in our lives? Does God need for us to do that? Or
does acknowledging our own helplessness fulfill a need deep within us so
that we can "let go" of our trouble and "let God," heal us? I believe that
God wants us to be whole, wants us to be physically and emotionally
healthy. I don't believe God puts obstacles in our path to prevent our
having an honest and fulfilling relationship with God. Rather, I believe
that something within me requires me to acknowledge my insufficiency so that
I can truly and totally allow myself to receive God's blessing.
Even though I don't completely understand why helplessness (or acknowledging
that I am not in control) is necessary, I know that it is. After the death
of my husband, Michael, I was left alone with total responsibility for our
daughter Jessica. I felt helpless and totally insufficient to protect Jessi
in the same way that I believed Michael had protected her. Not long after
his death, she was in a difficult situation with a select volleyball team
where I felt another adult was being emotionally abusive to her. If I
removed Jessi from that situation, it wasn't certain that she would be able
to continue to play select volleyball, something very important to her. In
desperation, I turned to God, praying out of my deep feeling of
helplessness, explaining that I didn't know what to do or where to turn.
Within days, we received a blessing that I can't explain. I can only give
God the credit. A different select volleyball team's coach called me,
inviting Jessi to try out for his team. For the next two years, she played
on a team where she was loved and cared for in ways that mattered far more
than playing volleyball. I touched the robe of Jesus and received far more
blessings than I ever hoped for.
I went to God emotionally naked and was blessed beyond measure. The
companion Psalm for Sunday's gospel expresses it better than I ever could:
"God, you have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O my God, I will give thanks to you forever." Psalm 30:11-12
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